I was counseling a Christian friend today regarding a problem at work. Last week his boss gave him a performance improvement plan identifying problems with his work and listeding expectations going forward. Not knowing how to properly respond to his boss’s criticism, my friend was ready to quit.
All he could do was point out to me what was wrong with the criticism and what was wrong with his boss, mixed in with a few passing acknowledgements about how he (my friend) might have done better. It was sad because he will likely not find a better job.
It was like seeing a train wreck in slow motion. I was watching someone getting ready to make one of the worst decisions of his life, life-altering really, because he couldn’t accept criticism from his boss.
As a board certified employment lawyer, I’ve helped a lot of employees navigate their boss’s criticism. Whether it be a poor performance review, a verbal counseling or the dreaded performance Improvement plan, responding properly is rarely easy. The more serious the criticism the more difficult it is to respond properly. However, there is one key that is a game-changer.
Why responding properly is so difficult
Responding positively to a boss’s criticism is rarely easy. That’s because our work is an extension of who we are. The work of our hands is a fruit of our heart.
“The work of our hands is a fruit of our heart.”
When God finished His work in creation, he declared it was “very good.” Genesis 1:31. It was as much a statement about God’s character as it was about God’s work . His “excellencies” are manifested in the excellent work of his hands. See 1 Peter 2:9.
It’s the same with us. Consequently, when someone criticizes our work it is not like someone criticizing our favorite sports team. We are more than merely responsible for our work. Our work is a reflection on who we are.
Are we careful and thorough or flippant and reckless? Our work will reveal it. I promise you I know more about the attorneys who work for me than most of their friends because I see it in the work they submit to me every day.
We know these things instinctively, which is why criticism of our work is so deeply personal. It’s not the fear of losing one’s job that primarily drives the emotions that make it so difficult to accept such criticism but the fear of losing one’s self-respect.
This fear drives such irrational decisions as the one I’m afraid the person I counseled today will make. It’s easier for him emotionally to “decide” his boss has misjudged him and quit than readjust his view of himself, determine to change, and stick it out.
Hearing God’s voice through a boss’s criticism
One of the best ways for Christians to avoid the train wreck described above is to recognize one thing that is almost inevitably true in such situations: God speaks to you through your boss. This can be inferred from what the Apostle Paul wrote to the Roman Christians about government rulers and earthly authorities in general:
” . . . for there is no authority except that which God has established. . . Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. . . For he is God’s servant to do you good.”
Your boss is motivated like no other person in your life, except perhaps your parents, to tell you the truth about where you need to improve. And let’s face it, after you’re an adult, your parents will probably stop doing that for the sake of the relationship.
For the same reason, your best friends will not tell you about your weaknesses. They don’t want to risk the relationship. They just give you grace, like you do with those your friends’ weaknesses.
Your boss is a different species. She has to hit benchmarks to satisfy her superiors and is invested in getting the job done. She knows her role is not to be your friend but to make you better at what you do so she will be judged better at what she does.
Consequently, she will tell you the truth even if she does it clumsily, undiplomatically, or even offensively. She may, in fact, be the only person in your life who will tell you the truth. Our job as Christians who seek to be more like Jesus – “who does all things well” (Mark 7:37)– is to separate the wheat from the chaff and not miss the invaluable message because of the inappropriate manner in which it is delivered. Our job is to hear the voice of God in the criticism from our boss.
These are the things I tried to tell the friend I was counseling today. I don’t know if he could hear it. I hope he heard it so he can hear the Lord’s voice in his boss’s criticism. If he can, he can avoid making a terrible, life-altering decision. GS
