What Jesus said about divorce

The family, and particularly our parents, are, apart from Jesus, the most important shapers of who we will become as people. We could debate about all the reasons Jesus said the hard things He said about divorce, but it’s hard to imagine the damage divorce does to children not being one of them.

Jesus said God is involved in joining a man and woman in marriage, and that no one should cause others to divorce (Matthew 19:6). This is one of the many reasons I’m not, and never will be, a divorce lawyer. 

Jesus provided a very narrow exception for divorce (Matthew 5:32). He even said those who remarried after a divorce were engaging in adultery (Luke 16:18). And we can’t forget this from the Old Testament: “‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord of hosts” (Malachi 2:16).

Why staying married matters

Now, before you decide to shoot the messenger, understand that I am just telling you what God said. All the discussion about physical abuse, redemption after divorce, etc. is for another post and another day. The point is, God has a particular distaste for divorce, and we should ask why.

The numbers don’t lie. Divorce adversely affects the standard of living of both parties and the children.  Children of divorce have more behavioral and delinquency problems. Children of divorced/separated parents have elevated rates of depression and anxiety, and emotional distress. They also have more substance abuse problems and poorer psychological adjustment. These statements are not merely matters of opinion—the statistics prove them over and over again.

It gets worse, though. Children of divorce on average complete less education, have lower academic achievement, are less likely to attend college, and are less likely to complete college. In addition, children of divorced parents end up earning less as adults. And let’s not forget the increase in teen pregnancy and incarceration among children of divorce.

Right under our noses

People live their lives dreaming of doing something to change the world. They lament their seemingly meaningless job or lack of wealth when the most impactful thing they could do is right under their noses. And that is to simply stay married.

It can be done. It doesn’t require more money, better education, or even access to therapists and marriage counselors. 

Forget the Prayer of Jabez, the latest teaching from Redding, California, and the Seven Mountains of Influence. Forget politics. If more Christians simply stayed married, they would be wealthier and produce better-adjusted, more highly educated children who are generally more successful in life.

Which leads to the next thing . . . GS