I’m no expert on marital counseling. I’m not even sure how good a husband I am.
I’m one of those fortunate people who married a fantastic woman. My wife is beautiful, charming and the most selfless person I’ve ever met. So, I suspect I’ve had it easier than most.
But in having been happily married for twenty years, I have learned a few things I can pass on to those just starting out.
My wife and I do three things that are fundamental; I’d even call them no-brainers. Yet I bet only a small percentage of married people do them consistently well.
1. Always treat your spouse with respect. I’m shocked when I hear the hurtful things spouses say to one another, things they would never dream of saying to even a casual acquaintance. Then they wonder where the love has gone. Nothing good ever came from a snide or hurtful remark.
2. Speak well of your spouse to others. If you are married you are one flesh, spiritually speaking, with your mate. Speaking badly of him or her doesn’t make you look better. If you have the kind of friends who get together and talk about what losers their husbands are, your friends are losers. Find new friends.
3. Seek first the Lord. If you are looking for your spouse to meet all your needs, you are setting yourself up for a huge disappointment. No matter how great you think your mate is when you get married, he or she will never be a substitute for Jesus. Also, as long as you are both committed to serving the Lord first, you are both capable of change, and as long as you are capable of change you are capable of having a successful marriage.
Like I said, there is probably no great revelation in any of these, but they work the way fundamentals work in any other endeavor. That’s why they are called fundamentals. GS